漂浮与个人身份 - Juliet Tango Mylan | 漂浮会议2018
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Juliet Tango Mylan 分享了一份关于漂浮、性别过渡和自我接纳的个人叙述，包括在漂浮之旅中的艰难经历。
转录来源：Vidleaf上的自动语音识别（可能包含错误）。AI标点由Vidleaf添加；保留原始措辞和时间戳锚点。原始转录可在下方获取。
AI生成的摘要
演讲者开场感谢 Roy、Ashkahn 以及所有帮助举办这次活动的人，称这是他们参与过的最友善、最体贴、最包容的行业。这场演讲是个人性质的，涵盖了 Ashkahn 谈到的那次旅程中的沉重内容，包括自杀意念和性侵犯，演讲者请任何没有准备好的人去做对自己最好的事。他们回忆起八年前通过 Graham 第一次漂浮，后来加入 Float Tank Solutions，并在漂浮之旅中在房车上度过了三个月，在那里他们意识到团队在这个行业里算是名人。在 Jeremy Warner 位于内布拉斯加州林肯市的漂浮箱中，演讲者经历了一次非常迷幻的漂浮，并想象未来的自己是一位女性，这令人惊讶，尽管他们的一部分人从在 Bend 长大的线索中多少已经知道。回家后，演讲者开始过渡，反弹很艰难；他们描述了负面循环、在火车上遭到性骚扰以及离婚，并说他们学会了依靠那些帮助他们度过这些事情的人。他们解释说，作为跨性别者令人精疲力竭，其他人能做的最好的事情就是给予拥抱，并把跨性别者当作其他人一样对待，然后宣布午餐开始，没有问答环节&。
根据文字记录生成。请对照原始视频检查链接段落。
带时间戳的章节摘要
开场致谢
关于Float Tour与转变的个人演讲
第一次漂浮与加入Float On
- [3:19] 演讲者的第一次漂浮是在八年前，因为Graham而发生。
- [3:26] 在Float On之前，Graham与Christopher Messer合作推销这个想法，看看它是否有市场，而演讲者是幸运的受试者之一。
- [3:50] 第一次漂浮真的很酷；演讲者没有深刻的个人启示，但感觉超级漂浮，并思考了宇宙。
- [4:05] 这次经历在演讲者身上停留了几天，他们意识到自己想继续做下去。
- [4:14] 由于与Graham的友谊，演讲者得以在Float On漂浮。
- [4:21] 最终演讲者被引入Float Tank Solutions，在float tour前几天Graham邀请他们一起参加。
- [4:37] 演讲者在房车上与团队共度了三个月，意识到他们并不像自己以为的那样了解他们。
- [4:47] 演讲者了解到团队在行业中算是名人，尽管在家乡他们只是酒友，这是一个巨大的视角转变。
Jeremy Warner的漂浮箱体验
意识到隐藏的身份
转变、反弹与困难的漂浮
克服消极循环与自我孤立
跨性别经历与社交焦虑
午餐休息，不设Q&A（问答）
[0:00] 大家好！最近怎么样？谢谢。Roy 刚才有多棒？是啊。我们需要像他这样的人。呃，那是当然。我现在就跟你们说，我可跟不上他的能量。
[0:34] 我想我们都会为此感激。很快地说一下，我只想感谢所有帮助举办这次活动的人，包括我自己，但尤其是 Ashkahn。他做这件事已经七年了，按 Ashkahn 年计算，那大概相当于 250。所以很快地说，再给他一轮掌声。好的。还有很快地说，我只想为这个行业再赢得一轮掌声。
[1:08] 谢谢。这是我曾有幸参与过的最友善、最体贴、最包容的行业。所以……谢谢。最后，我只想说，让我们再为我穿这条裙子有多好看鼓一次掌。它是新的。我专门为这次演讲买的。
[1:41] 不客气。好了，我没有幻灯片。我就是你们的视觉辅助。啊哈哈。是啊，好吧。那么……我要讲一些对我来说非常私人的事情。那些事发生在 Ashkahn 刚才谈到的那次旅行中。有些内容会有点沉重。我会谈到自杀意念和性侵犯。
[2:12] 如果这不是你在身体上、心理上、情感上或精神上准备好的内容，请做对你自己最好的选择。嗯，但是——除此之外，我想一切都会没事的。说到 Float Tour，就鼓个掌吧，我们见到了多少人？谢谢。Ashkahn，我没听到你鼓掌。
[2:46] 谢谢。好的。谢谢。如果你在那次旅行中见过我，我看起来确实有点不一样。那时候？我的头发更短。我穿的裙子更少？嗯……而且我的声音更低。是啊，我看起来像个男的。而现在我基本上不是了。嗯，而这件事发生了……
[3:17] 是因为漂浮。*叹气* 我的第一次漂浮是在八年前。那是因为 Graham。其实那是在 Float On 之前。但他当时正和 Christopher Messer 合作……算是推销这个想法，看看它是否有市场，而我是幸运的受试者之一。如果你之后见到他，你应该问问他结果如何。我会非常好奇。嗯……是啊，所以……
[3:50] 对我来说，第一次漂浮真的非常非常酷。我并没有什么深刻的个人顿悟，但我确实感觉超级飘，而且我想到了宇宙之类的东西，那很酷。它在我身上持续了好几天，我意识到我想继续做这件事。而且……多亏了我和 Graham 发展出的很棒友谊，我得以在 FloatOn 继续做这件事。
[4:21] 最终，不知什么原因，他们把我招进了 Float Tank Solutions，真实的故事是，就在……他们出发去 float tour 的前几天，Graham 说，你想来吗？我说，想。所以，我和那些家伙在那辆房车里待了三个月。而我意识到，我并没有自己以为的那么了解他们。结果发现，他们在这个行业里有点像名人，而在我家乡他们只是我的酒友。那对我来说是一个巨大的视角转变。
[4:58] 而且那不是那次旅行中最后一次。我们做了很多漂浮。我最终进行的其中一次漂浮是在 Jeremy Warner 的漂浮舱里，在内布拉斯加州林肯市。那是当时林肯市唯一在运营的漂浮舱，我查过了。抱歉。嗯……当我和 Ashkahn 在那里时，Jeremy 想确保与我们分享他的一些好客之道，因为他爱那些家伙。
[5:31] 我不确定你是否熟悉 Jeremy Warner 的好客方式，但它让我之后很难说话。于是他问我是否想进漂浮舱，我无言地只是点了点头。于是……我进去漂浮了，我经历了一次他们所说的非常迷幻的漂浮，伙计。我开始思考我在宇宙中的位置，以及我在这次旅行中和整个一生中所了解到的关于自己的事情。
[6:11] 我开始思考我未来想处在什么位置，并想象我理想中的自己。不只是拥有什么，而且我还开始看到未来的我。不只是思考它，而是真正看到我将成为谁。而我当时非常惊讶，她是一个女人。而且……尽管这非常令人惊讶，但我内心有些部分多少知道。嗯……
[6:51] 我在成长过程中曾有过……线索。那些我只是一直不愿相信的事情。因为我是在一个非常小的镇子里长大的。我在本德长大，就在这南边，我成长的时候它比现在小得多。嗯……而且……我身边的人都是顺性别、异性恋、白人、敬畏上帝的盎格鲁-撒克逊美国人。
[7:23] 这并不是要贬低顺性别白人、异性恋、敬畏上帝的盎格鲁-撒克逊美国人——我的朋友大多都是这样的人。好吧，也许不是敬畏上帝。我找不到人倾诉我的感受，所以我知道这很奇怪。于是我试图停止这种感觉。如果有人经历过类似的事，他们就知道这不管用。
[7:57] 而它最终还是会流露出来。嗯……我从那个水箱里出来时就是这么做的。谢谢。嗯……有一段时间真的非常非常棒。回到家后，我开始转型。我错过的那些事，以及我“不再为自己感到羞耻”的程度，都令人惊叹。
[8:29] 我真的很高兴拥有这些。嗯……但世界其他地方并不一定同意这是完全棒极了、妙不可言的。而且……这对我来说变得非常艰难，遭遇那种反弹，尤其是因为我花了那么多力气才终于为自己接受了这件事。我脑海深处总有一个小小的声音说，我正在做的事是错的，是与众不同的、奇怪的事情。
[9:05] 我不确定。有时当我那样的时候，当我身处漂浮箱中时，它并没有帮助。我知道这是这个行业里我们不太谈论的事情，但有时那些漂浮就是……它们进行得并不顺利。但我学会了，我随时都可以出来，以后再试。而且，嗯，我认为这是我们所有人都应该留心的事情。
[9:37] 谢谢。嗯……有些时候我会陷入这些消极循环，独处是我能做的最糟糕的事情。而且……在……我在火车上遭到性骚扰。他们抓住我，走开时还对我微笑，完全清楚我无能为力。
[10:08] 谢谢。我觉得我已经受够了。我的妻子提出离婚，因为事实证明我不是她嫁的那个男人。还有那么多小事不断堆积，而独自一人时，我说服自己情况会永远糟糕下去。但我学会了……依靠那些帮助我度过这些事情的人。
[10:40] 而且……我发现了一个完整的你们的世界。谢谢。而且……我为自己成为的人感到如此高兴，也为将要成为的人感到如此兴奋。对不起。而且，嗯，我只想为这一切感谢你们。我不会再耽误你们吃午饭太久了，我保证。嗯……
[11:11] 但是，呃，我要说这一点。很多人想知道身为跨性别者是什么感觉。我可以告诉你们：这很累人。我会反复揣测我进行的每一次社交互动。嗯……至少一开始是这样。所以如果我显得尖刻，或者其他跨性别者这样，那是因为我们还不知道该怎么看待你们，而且我们害怕，因为我们被教导应该害怕。
[11:44] 谢谢。所以你们能做的最好的事，就是给我们拥抱，像对待其他人一样对待我们。我知道你们会的。因为你们太棒了。好了，我们去吃午饭吧。如果有人想和我聊聊……我得告诉你们，我不做Q&A（问答）。
[12:25] 如果有人想在午餐时和我说话，给我善意的话语或一个拥抱，请尽管来。但也要互相拥抱。谢谢。
查看英文原始字幕
[0:00] Hi everybody! How's it going? Thank you. How great was Roy? Yeah. We need people like him. Uh, for sure. I'm gonna tell you right now, I'm not gonna match his energy.
[0:34] Which I think we'll all be grateful for. Really quick, I just want to thank Everybody who's been helping put this on, myself included, but especially Ashkahn. He's been doing this for seven years and in Ashkahn years that comes out to like 250. So just really quick, another round of applause for him. All right. And really quick, I just want to have another round of applause for this industry.
[1:08] Thank you. This is the kindest, most thoughtful, most accepting industry I've ever had the privilege to be a part of. So... Thank you. And then lastly, I just want to say let's give one more round of applause for how great I look in this dress. It's new. I got it specifically for this talk.
[1:41] You're welcome. Okay, I don't have any slides. I am your visual aid. Ahahaha. Yeah, okay. So... I'm going to talk about some very personal stuff for me. that happened on that trip that Ashkahn was just talking about. Some of it's going to be a little heavy. I will be discussing suicidal ideation and sexual assault.
[2:12] If that's something that you're not physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually prepared for, please do what's best for you. Um, But-- Other than that, I think it's going to be fine. Speaking of Float Tour, just by round of applause, How many people did we see? Thank you. Ashkahn, I didn't hear you applaud.
[2:46] Thank you. Okay. Thank you. If you met me on that tour, I did look a little bit different. Back then? My hair was shorter. I wore fewer dresses? Um... And I had a deeper voice. Yeah, I looked like a dude. And now I mostly don't. um And this happened...
[3:17] because of floating. *sigh* My first float was eight years ago. And it was because of Graham. This was before Float On, actually. But he was working with Christopher Messer to... sort of pitch the idea and see if it was marketable, and I was one of the lucky subjects. If you see him later, you should ask him how that turned out. I'd be really curious. Um... Yeah, so...
[3:50] That first float for me was really, really cool. I didn't have any sort of deep personal revelations but, I did feel like super floaty and I thought about the universe and stuff, which was rad. And it stuck with me for a couple of days and I realized, that I wanted to keep doing it. And... Thanks to the awesome friendship I developed with Graham, I was able to do that at FloatOn.
[4:21] Eventually, for whatever reason, they brought me on to Float Tank Solutions and true story, Just... days before they were leaving on float tour, Graham was like, do you want to come? And I was like, yeah. So, I was on that RV for three months with those guys. And I realized that I didn't know them as well as I thought I did. As it turns out, they're kind of like celebrities in this industry, which they were just my drinking buddies back home. And that was a huge perspective shift for me.
[4:58] And not the last one on that trip. We did a lot of floating. And one of the floats that I ended up having was in Jeremy Warner's tank. and Lincoln, Nebraska. It was the Only float tank operational at the time in Lincoln, Nebraska, I checked. I'm sorry. Um... And while I was there with Ashkahn, Jeremy wanted to make sure that he shared some of his hospitality with us, because he loves those guys.
[5:31] And I'm not sure if you're familiar with Jeremy Warner's form of hospitality, but it made it so that it was very difficult for me to speak afterwards. And so he asked me if I wanted to get in the float tank and I wordlessly just sort of nodded. And so... I went in and I floated and I had what they call a really trippy float man. I started to think about my place in the universe and what I had learned about myself on this trip and throughout my entire life.
[6:11] I started to think of where I wanted to be in the future and visualize my ideal self. have and not just that but I also started a to see me in the future. Not just think about it, but actually see who I was going to be. I And much to my surprise at that time, She was a woman. And... Even though it was very surprising, there were parts of me that kind of knew Um...
[6:51] I had had... clues growing up. Things I just didn't want. to believe Because I grew up in a very small town. I grew up in Bend, south of here, and when I was growing up it was much smaller than it is today. Um... And... the people I had around me were cis straight, white God-fearing Anglo-Saxon Americans.
[7:23] And that's not to disparage cis whites. straight God-fearing Anglo-Saxon Americans. most of my friends. are cis, straight, white, God-fearing Anglo-Saxon Americans. Well, maybe not God-fearing. I didn't have anyone to talk to about how I felt, and so I knew that it was weird. And so I tried to stop feeling it. If anybody's had something like that, they know that it doesn't work.
[7:57] And it eventually does come out. Um... And that's what I did when I came out of that tank. Thank you. Um... And it was really, really great for a while. When I got back home, I started to transition. And It was amazing all the things that I had been missing out on and how "Not ashamed of myself I was."
[8:29] And I was really glad to have that. Um... But the rest of the world doesn't necessarily agree that that's a totally awesome and groovy and And... that got really hard for me. encountering that backlash. especially since it took me so much to just finally accept it for myself. There's always a little voice in the back of my head that says that, what I'm doing is wrong and it's different and weird things.
[9:05] I'm not sure. And sometimes when I get like that, when I'm in the float tank, It doesn't help. And I know that that's something we don't talk about a lot in this industry, but sometimes those floats Just. they don't go well. But I've learned that I can always just get out. and try again later. And, um, I think that that's something that we all deserve to be mindful of.
[9:37] Thank you. Um... There were times where I would get into these negativity loops, and being by myself was the worst thing. that I could do. and And... after... I was sexually harassed on the train. grabbed me, and they smiled at me as they walked away fully aware that I couldn't do anything.
[10:08] Thank you. I felt like I'd had enough. I My wife had asked for a divorce because it turns out I was not the man that she married. And there were just so many little things that kept piling on and being by myself, I convinced myself it was going to be bad forever. But I've learned to... lean on the people, that Help me through those things.
[10:40] And... I've discovered that there's a whole world of you. Thank you. And... I'm so glad of the person that I've become, and I'm so excited to meet the person that I'm going to be. I'm sorry. And, um, I just want to thank you for all of that. I'm not going to keep you from lunch too much longer, I promise. Um...
[11:11] But, uh, I will say this. you A lot of people want to know what it's like to be trans. And I can tell you this, it's exhausting. I second guess every social interaction that I have. Um... at least at first. So if I come off spiky, or if other trans people do, it's because we don't know what to make of you yet. and we're afraid. because we've been taught that we should be.
[11:44] Thank you. So the best thing that you can do is just give us hugs and treat us like everybody else. And I know that you will. Because you guys rock. All right, let's go have lunch. If anybody wants to talk to me... . I'm going to let you know I'm not doing a Q&A.
[12:25] if anyone wants to talk to me at lunch and give me kind words or a hug Please do. but hug each other too. Thanks.
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“漂浮与个人身份 - Juliet Tango Mylan | Float Conference 2018” 由 Float Conference (https://www.youtube.com/@floatconference) 制作，采用 CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/) 许可。源视频：https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Czp5hOAXGSE。本页是视频的文本转录，添加了段落分隔和时间戳；创作者与 Vidleaf 无关联，也不为其背书。Vidleaf 添加了 AI 标点和 AI 生成的摘要；原始措辞仍可在本页查看。
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